Ｌａ　Ｄｏｌｃｅ　Ｖｉｔａ

P: Have you seen any good movie lately?

I: Oh, I do. I saw before sunrise and before sunset on a typhoon holiday a month ago.

P: Yeah, I watched them before. The conversations between Jesse & Celine are very thoughtful.
They talked about their own philosophies of life, death, love. All kinds of topics. I really loved it.

I: Yeas I was impressed by what Celine said: “memory is good if you don’t have to deal with past.”

P: Yeah, I feel the same way. We all may be through with the past, but it seems that the past just ain’t
through with us. Past exits in some invisible ways affecting every move that we make later in our
life.

I: It’s like the butterfly effect. Even though sometimes past in not that wonderful, we learn something
from it and grow up.

P: I remember Friedrich Nietzsche once said that: ”blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better
even of their blunders.” Frankly, I don’t agree with him. If we totally forget those stupid mistakes
that we made before, we’ll never have the chance to grow up or learn lessons from them, right?

I: Oh, it reminds me of the cycle of love. At first, you put some romantic illusion on him but eventually
things turn upside down. He’s not as ideal as you expected first. Then you break up with him and you
met another guy, a new cycle began.

P: have you ever seen “Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”?

I: No, what’s the movie about?

P: It’s about a couple who broke up with each other after a severe fight. They were in so much pain and
decided to erase each other’s memories from their brain, well, supposed it’s possible to erase someone
from your life. After that, their mind is not blinded by those sad feelings, lover’s quarrels and
sorrows anymore. They returned to the purist and the most peaceful state of mind. And then they met
each other and fell in love again. I remembered that the girlfriend told her boyfriend both before and
after memory erasing that she’s just a fucked up girl who’s looking for her own peace of mind. I think
only if you find peace within yourself, will you find the true connections with others. By the way,
the title of this move was from one of Alexander Pope’s works.

I: Sounds good. It seems that they’re really suitable for each other so they fall in love again. They’re
not like other couples being together because they don’t know how to be alone. I mean, love is not
only companionship. Anyway, I’ll rent that movie after mid-term.

P: Love is a complex issue. I mean if you told someone that you loved them, was it a totally unselfish,
unconditional and whole giving love? I really doubt that. That’s why I never told anyone that I loved
them.
I: That’s true. Love and reality are contradictory for me. It’s ironic to find out that I’m fine only
when I’m on my own. So I can’t imagine how terrible I’ll be if get married. It’s boring to sit and
stare at the same person in the rest of my life. Marriage is a commitment to love but there should be
more love than commitment. I even don’t believe that there is any everlasting love on earth.

P: I agree with you. I still carry the emotional baggage from my previous relationship and the failure of
my parent’s marriage. There were a lot of things that made me question about love and marriage. Like
in the wedding, people took vows of lifetime commitment. But we often heard about people breaking the
vow. I mean what’s the point with making the vow and then breaking the vow? It made me feel all the
rules and commitments are only made to be broken.

I: You’re right. It’s impossible for couples after a few years of living together to have the same
passion, desire as the beginning. How come children being the only connection to marriage? I don’t’
understand why marriage would be like this. I mean both marriage and love are mutual feelings. If
couples don’t do any effort to keep it, the feeling will finally fade away.

P: You know sometimes you think some people deserve something good because they are really nice people.
But they wanted more that is out of your reach or you want to keep it to someone else or yourself.
I’ve always dreamed about I’m that kind of person who is capable of loving and caring for others,
because I’ve spent the entire time of my teens with resentment towards my parent and family.
Seriously, I don’t think I’m capable of entering a marriage. I’d rather die of knowing that I was
really good at something than spend the rest of my life regretting for failing someone’s wishes.

I: I think of what Jesse told Celine about he can’t love his wife the way she needs to be loved. His wife
is a good woman who deserves a great life. However, he doesn’t see their future. He’s living in the
pretense of a marriage, responsibility. It’s the same idea with what you’ve said. He knows what his
wife wants but he fails to offer it. Then their relationships gradually fade out. The more you expect,
the more it makes you disappointed. C’est la vie.

P: I remember you talked earlier about how couples begin to hate each other by anticipating their
reactions or getting tired of their tiny little habits or manners. I’m scared of being understood.
It’s like you are exposed in a spotlight or being naked in public, like you don’t own a secret. That’s
horrifying. But still, I believe all we want in life is a little bit of love to take our pain away.
Everything that we do in life is a way to be loved a little more. It’s kind of ambivalent. I don’t
believe in love but still need to be loved. Love’s really really complicated. Agree?

I: Totally agree!!

P: That is so true.